Format for Group Spiritual Direction
by Carol Fryer
What Group Spiritual Direction Is and Is Not.
Group Spiritual Direction (GSD) is not talk therapy! Many people may have experience with talk therapy and find themselves inclined to respond to one another in a therapeutic way, however that inclination should be resisted. In GSD the Holy Spirit is the Divine Therapist, participants in the group are not. GSD is not the same as counseling. It is not authoritarian – no one is there to tell you what to do, feel, think or how to be. It is not advice-giving or moral guidance, coaching, teaching or discipleship training.
Spiritual Direction (SD) “is one Christian accompanying another as he or she seeks to increase attentiveness to the presence and direction of the Spirit of God.” (David G. Benner, Sacred Companions, pg.90) In GSD, several people accompany each other in the same way, seeking to increase each person’s attentiveness to the presence and direction of the Holy Spirit. This requires prayerful listening and discernment on the part of everyone in the group
Facilitator Role: The most important job of the facilitator is to create a safe space so that people may feel free to share their vulnerability. The guidelines help to do this, but the calm and confident presence of the facilitator is crucial. Participants need to feel that they are in safe hands.
The facilitator role includes the practical matters of organizing the group and sending out email reminders of meetings and Zoom links (if you are using Zoom). In addition the facilitator is the timekeeper during the meeting.
As the facilitator, I welcome the group as they come together. I may share some words of introduction to the session including briefly reminding the participants of the format. I lead the opening meditation with a short reading followed by silence. (Members of the group may also be invited to share a reading for the opening or closing meditation.)
After the meditation, the facilitator invites anyone in the group to share when they are ready. There may be some moments of silence until the first person begins.
What is difficult about the facilitator role?
Knowing when to be directive and when to keep silent and let things develop naturally.
Knowing when to interrupt someone if they have gone “off track.” For example, someone might begin to give advice or ask for more information out of curiosity. Alternatively, someone might begin to speak about another person in their life rather than themselves.
The group should have a facilitator and at least three but no more than six participants. The recommended time is to meet for 90 minutes (in person or via Zoom.)
Participants: Participants in Group Spiritual Direction should have a level of spiritual maturity. Ideally they would have been engaged in some form of spiritual discipline including prayer and perhaps meditation, lectio divina, or contemplative practice. They may be referred by a spiritual director or companion, or they will be interviewed by the facilitator before being invited to join the group.
Initial Meeting: In the first meeting, after a brief reading and silence, I invite all of the participants to introduce themselves to the group. I also ask them to talk about what brought them to this group and what they are hoping for in this experience. Guidelines are emailed to them in advance with the offer to go over them and/or answer any questions about them. Then I describe the format for the sessions going forward and invite questions again. If someone has not already committed to the group, I ask them to let me know within the next few days if they would like to participate. We set up a schedule for the next six monthly meetings.
Before the meetings I send out an email reminder with the Zoom link to all the participants. It is especially helpful for people living in different time zones to make sure they are prepared to join at the correct time.
Format for regular meetings
Beginning: Introductory comments, a brief reading and silent prayer (10 minutes). I may suggest a topic or emphasis for the meeting, for example: What have been your highs and lows in the past month? Or, what has been happening in your prayer?
Sharing: When the silent prayer comes to an end, I gently invite someone to share. I do not choose anyone but we wait in silence until someone begins to speak. This may take a little time and it is important to let the silence continue until one of the participants begins to speak. That person shares while the others listen, holding her or him in prayer. (This sharing may be brief or may continue for several minutes.) There have been times when I, as the facilitator, may invite the person sharing to say a bit more, if they have been especially brief.
Praying: The group prays silently for that person (1.5 to 2 minutes)
Rose Mary Dougherty suggests four questions to help during this prayer time:
God, what is your deepest desire for this person?
God, what do you want my prayer to be?
God, is there anything in me that is getting in the way of my joining your prayer for this person?
God, is there anything you want me to say or do on your behalf for this person?
Sharing: After the silent prayer for the first person, a second person shares.
The group prays silently for that person (1.5 to 2 minutes)
This pattern continues until everyone has had a chance to share if they wish.
Responding: If the group is smaller and time allows (3-4 people), participants may be invited to briefly respond following the silent prayer for the person who has shared.
When the group is larger (5-6 people), the participants are invited to respond to one another in the time that is left after everyone has shared (usually about 20-25 minutes).
Responses may include expressions of encouragement, gratitude, and/or lifting up themes that have been heard during the time of sharing.
Evaluation: Participants may be invited to evaluate the experience or ask questions.
Closing: A final poem, prayer or reading followed by a brief silence, as time allows.
Discernment: Occasionally someone in the group might have a pressing issue for discernment. I may invite the group to be open to using a session for the sake of holding space for that person in their discernment. This is something that I had some experience with before the online groups. So far no one has asked for it but I feel that the group would be willing if someone did.
Resources
Group Spiritual Direction: Community for Discernment, by Rose Mary Dougherty, S.S.N.D. Paulist Press, 1995.
The Lived Experience of Group Spiritual Direction, Edited by Rose Mary Dougherty, S.S.N.D., foreword by Tilden Edwards. Paulist Press, 2003
Sacred Companions: The Gift of Spiritual Friendship and Direction, by David G. Benner, Inter Varsity Press, 2002