Suggestions for a self guided Retreat
Many people are hungry for longer online retreats. The following provides a few ideas and suggestions for those who would like to create an retreat experience,, perhaps using an online quiet day as a starting point or centerpiece.
I think of a centering prayer retreat as having five major components:
1) centering prayer practice;
2) silent meals;
3) spiritual input in the form of talks and reading;
4) other contemplative practices such as lectio divina, visio divina, or welcoming prayer;
5) free time to go where you are drawn, which might include journaling, silent walks, yoga or other exercise, drawing, napping, or just sitting and staring into space.
Sample Schedule
Here’s a sample schedule. Feel free to adapt it to your needs, interests, body, and sense of call:
7 am Wake up, coffee, bathing
7:30 - 8:40 Two 30 minute periods centering prayer, separated by walking meditation
8:45 Silent breakfast
Free time to go where you are drawn, which might include journaling, silent walks, yoga or other exercise, drawing, napping, or just sitting and staring into space.
10 am Video or audio of a talk or spiritual reading
11:00 - 12:10 Two 30 minute periods centering prayer, separated by walking meditation
12:15 Silent lunch
Free time to go where you are drawn, which might include journaling, silent walks, yoga or other exercise, drawing, napping, or just sitting and staring into space.
3:30 pm Video or audio of a talk, spiritual reading, another contemplative practice such as lectio divina, visio divina, or a recording of a welcoming prayer practice session.
5:00 - 6:10 Two 30 minute periods centering prayer, separated by walking meditation
6:15 Silent dinner
Free time to go where you are drawn, which might include journaling, silent walks, yoga or other exercise, drawing, napping, or just sitting and staring into space.
• • •
Preparing for an Online Retreat Day
A retreat is an invitation to come apart from the world for prayer and reflection. Ordinarily on an in-person retreat we ask people to plan to leave cell phones turned off and provide meals so that people will not need to leave the retreat space. On a self guided retreat you will be in charge of making preparations to create sacred space and enable yourself to have some sabbath time. What can you do to prepare so that you can be as comfortable, quiet, and undisturbed as possible? How can you create or refresh sacred space in your home? For some of you this will be challenging and it will be helpful to spend some time in advance reflecting on it and discussing it with those with whom you share your space.
There may be a gift for you in this experience of doing a retreat in your own home when you discover new ways to set boundaries and create sacred space. Here are some suggestions and discoveries from past participants:
• put a sign on your door;
• ask companions not to watch TV or listen to music during the time of the retreat;
• think about if you want to ask someone else to help out with pet care;
• find a quiet corner in your home that you hadn’t yet realized was good for prayer;
• clean and decorate your space;
• perform a small ritual to prepare yourself and the space;
• do some praying, reading, journalling, or reflection to prepare yourself;
• decide to embrace whatever happens on retreat.
• Slow wake up - Wake up without an alarm. While a quiet day in community may require you to keep to a certain schedule in order to be with others, a self-guided retreat gives you an opportunity to really listen to yourself, notice your own rhythms and what is drawing you today. What does it feel like to wake up? Feel your body as it moves from sleep to wakefulness. Reflect on how you will be spending your day and notice if there is particular energy around certain activities. Pray about how you are being asked to spend your time. What will help you to see yourself in a new light? What will bring you into deeper relationship with God? What will refresh you?
Take a few moments to note down what you are planning for the day. You might feel drawn to change it later on, but these first thoughts that come to you when you are in a sleepy, receptive state may be valuable to you.
• Centering prayer practice - On many longer centering prayer retreats, we do three hours of centering prayer a day, usually in two 30 minute sessions divided by a walking meditation: one first thing in the morning, one right before lunch, and another in the middle of the afternoon. We do not usually do centering prayer all day, as on an intensive Buddhist retreat.
If you are not used to doing 30 minute periods, this might be a little challenging for you, but it will ground you and start to change your rhythms so that you are aligned with the silence and stillness. A short meditative walk in between the two period gives you an opportunity to stretch.
If you would like the support of virtual community, you could structure your centering prayer periods for the day around meetings in the Meditation Chapel. Or you could use recordings of our group sessions or David Frenette’s audio recordings that provide guided meditations leading into centering prayer sessions.
You might plan your centering prayer program for the day and then allow your other activities to fall in place around the centering prayer periods.
• Spiritual Input - On a silent retreat in the centering prayer tradition there are often a couple of short talks a day. You could view a video of Thomas Keating or Cynthia Bourgeault on YouTube, listen to an audio recording, watch a video of a Welcoming Prayer practice session, or do a little spiritual reading, perhaps making your way slowly through a book on centering prayer such as Thomas Keating’s Open Mind, Open Heart or Invitation to Love, David Frenette’s The Path of Centering Prayer, or Cynthia Bourgeault’s Centering Prayer and Inner Awakening. You could use this opportunity to experience a book or video you've been meaning to get to, but be careful not to stuff yourself with information and content. Sometimes the greatest gift you can give yourself is the unstructured time to just be, with no agenda. Let yourself enter a dreamy state in which unexpected thoughts, memories, and fantasies can float up and tell you what your heart is longing for. Gently stimulate yourself with spiritual reflection. Allow yourself to get into a different rhythm. This retreat time is not about doing. It’s about leaving a lot of room for God to speak to you out of the silence and stillness. Listen.
Being in Silence
Unstructured time can make some people feel uneasy, and you may need to resist the urge to be doing more. Remain as silent as you can but to be ready to make exceptions when you have a practical need to ask or answer a question. Don’t use your cellphones and other digital devices if at all possible and avoid using online spiritual resources if you feel there is a danger you will be sucked in. Unless the retreat is taking place in a environment where you can walk outside in nature, it’s best if you can minimize leaving the premises, which can be challenging on a pretty day, but particularly in urban environments or crowded places can cause people to be drawn into talking and ordinary life.
Silent Meals
Since your meals will not be provided for you, as they are on an in-person retreat, plan and prepare as much as possible in advance simple meals that you can eat in silence in your home. You might invite any companions in your home to eat in silence with you.
You might choose to eat in a mindful manner so that the eating itself becomes a meditative practice. However, it should be noted that there is some tension between the dreamy state mentioned above and the more bright and alert state of mindfulness. Do you want to rest and dream, allowing thoughts to float freely across your mind, or challenge yourself to pay attention?
Instructions for Mindful Eating
Bring yourself fully into your body, noticing your breath going in and out, gently letting go of thoughts that do not have to do with eating and being present to your food. If you are planning to give yourself fully to mindful eating, it is best to eat without reading, talking, or engaging in any other task as you eat.
Notice the colors, shapes, and textures of the food before you.
Slowly begin to eat, pausing to notice the sensations of the food and the feelings in your body as you eat and interact with your food.
Notice any thoughts that are coming up and gently let go of them if they do not have to do with the experience of eating.
Listen to your body. How do you feel as you eat? Does your body tell you when it has had enough?
Finally, offer a prayer for all those humans and creatures who helped bring your food to the table.
Prayer partners - It might also be helpful to to coordinate with a friend or group of spiritual friends to keep to a similar schedule and pray for each other at certain times of the day. You could meet for centering prayer together by Zoom, using one of the programs if you choose, or check in with each other once a day for spiritual sharing.
Below are some simple guidelines you could use for some spiritual sharing:
Guidelines for Spiritual Sharing
• We listen attentively and without interruption when someone else is speaking.
• We share experiences from our own lives, not abstract ideas. We use “I” statements.
• We try to make sure that everyone has an opportunity to speak, but no one is required to. We do not lecture or dominate the group time with our own speaking.
• We do not give advice, criticize, or comment on what others share.
• We keep our sharing in the group absolutely confidential.
You might reflect together on a question like, “Where do I feel the presence of God in this retreat day?” or “How am I being called to become more fully myself?” Leave a few minutes of silence for reflection, then invite participants to share one at a time for a set period of time with brief silences in between. You can calculate how much time is available, then divide by the number of people to determine how long each participant may share, including time for silence in between. This format ensures that each participant will have a chance to speak without being interrupted and without running out of time. The silences in between periods of sharing allow for further reflection and help make it clear that each participant is expected to speak out of their own experience rather than responding to what was previously said. The group may choose a pre-arranged order for sharing or allow the participants to choose when they will take their turns. A timekeeper might issue a gentle warning a minute before each speaker’s time is up to allow them to bring their sharing to a close.