Formats for Spiritual Sharing

from the book Centering Prayer for Everyone

A group that is reading a passage from a contemplative book or viewing a video about centering prayer might be invited to reflect on questions like “How is God speaking to me through this read- ing?” or “How does this video relate to my spiritual practice?” Alternatively, if no reading or video is being used, the leader might give participants an opportunity to share more about their faith journeys by asking them to reflect on a question like, “Where do I feel the presence of God in my life right now?” or “How am I being called to become more fully myself?”

After asking the question, the leader might leave a few minutes of silence for reflection, then invite the group to share one at a time for a set period of time with brief silences in between. The leader can calculate how much time is available based on what time the group is scheduled to end, then divide by the number of people to determine how long each participant may share, including time for silence in between. This format ensures that each participant will have a chance to speak without being interrupted and without running out of time. The silences in between periods of sharing allow for further reflection and help make it clear that each participant is expected to speak out of their own experience rather than responding to what was previously said. The group may choose a pre-arranged order for sharing or allow the participants to choose when they will take their turns. The leader might issue a gentle warning a minute before each speaker’s time is up to allow them to bring their sharing to a close.

This format may sound rather peculiar and formal but once it is experienced its similarities to contemplative practice become obvious. Indeed, it is a contemplative practice. Like any good ritual, its structure helps maintain a sense of the sacred. Candles, chanting, and prayers can also be used to set the tone and make it clear that you are inviting people into a special kind of discourse.

Format for Spiritual Sharing

• Question: Where do I feel the presence of God in my life right now? or How am I being called to become more fully myself?

• Several minutes of silence

• Sharing, with facilitator timing to ensure that each person will have time to share and offering a gentle warning a minute before each speaker’s time is up

• One minute of silence

• Next sharing, until each person has an opportunity to speak, but no one is required to

• Closing silence or prayer

Of course the group might choose to use a far more casual format for sharing, but it can be useful to know that this structured method exists and is helpful in maintaining a safe and sacred atmosphere.

Guidelines could be discussed and agreed upon in an introductory meeting. In open groups in which participants come and go, changing often, it can be hard to set guidelines in place in an explicit way. If there is no introductory meeting attended by all participants then there may be no appropriate opportunity to discuss and agree upon a set of guidelines and not everyone in the group may be aware they exist. However, the leader could provide them and distribute them in printed form or post them online for easy reference, and if a problem arose the leader would be able to read them aloud or invite all participants to go back to them.

By gently but firmly enforcing the guidelines, the leader protects the contemplative space and helps participants be fully present to themselves and each other. If members of the group regularly dominate the conversation or digress inappropriately, the facilitator can use the guidelines to prevent the group from sliding into everyday discourse and patiently educate those who are not familiar with the guidelines or don’t understand them. Without this safe structure many people will not feel able to share from a deep and heartfelt place. Why speak our truth if no one is really listening or if someone is going interrupt or to try to fix us? The guidelines provide a tool for bringing into the light the dynamics of what is happening in the group and maintaining an atmosphere in which participants feel safe and heard.

While gently helping the group to follow these guidelines, the leader can also be a participant in the group rather than standing apart from it. This participation increases the sense of trust, inclusion, and equality within the group. If the leader speaks too much like an “expert,” it can erode the sense that the members of the group are all speaking from the heart and create a sense of hierarchy that makes others less eager to offer their own deepest reflections. As a leader you will be most effective when you can guide the group and share your own experience and possibly greater knowledge of the practices while also acknowledging that you are a companion on the same journey. This balance requires experience and humility.

In addition to setting the tone for contemplative discourse, guidelines can also be useful to clarify other aspects of a contemplative group’s format. The guidelines can become a kind of mission statement that describes the character and goals of the group.